why do you like to fix people?
when you can't even fix yourself.
Let’s begin this piece with a quote I’ve probably heard more times than I’ve heard my name:
even a broken clock is right twice a day
Whoever came up with that quote was probably a psychopath 9–5er, who hates his job, and just glued to the wall clock counting down time to go home.
Because, how else could he possibly have come up with such a timeless DAD joke?
This article isn’t about Dad jokes, but writing this right now, the twist at the end makes it feel like one.
I digress.
What does a broken clock have to do with a love for fixing broken people?
You’re about to find out. But first, where did the inspiration for this article come from? Stumbled on
’s master class (How to Write the Fight) on the formation of various characters in movies. I had my popcorn in hand, enjoying the ride she was taking me on. What happened next was unpredictable.The line below in the wall art jumped at me:
I paused everything I had going on and sat still with that line. I repeated the line countless times till I was completely drowned in all the emotions while gasping for air.
That phrasing took me back to places and people I thought I had left behind. The people I had invited into my life all to prove a point to myself that “I am a fixer.”
One of my past relationships was a tale of 2 people constantly trying to fix one another Instead of accepting or letting go early on.
Back to the broken clock, oh, you thought I would forget?
Hell no!
Even though a broken clock is right twice a day, we forget that it’s wrong 22 other times. And so we extend grace to people who barge into our lives with their several red flags and who only wave a green flag on very few occasions. We hold on to the scarce 2 green flags and ignore the other 22 times they did us wrong intentionally and consistently. And never ends well.
If you’re like me, you take it upon yourself to fix the person, and that further blinds us to their red flags, as well as brush their BS under the carpet. So much so that we almost make a Grammy-worthy red CARPET out of their RED flags.
A constant desire to fix others might be a signal of our own need for healing. 🫵🏽
Why do we like to fix people when we can’t even fix ourselves?
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"A constant desire to fix others might be a signal of our own need for healing."
This right here, is the truth!
A thoughtful and a well-writen piece. Well done Tobi
'Even though a broken clock is right twice a day, we forget that it’s wrong 22 other times. And so we extend grace to people who barge into our lives with their several red flags and who only wave a green flag on very few occasions. We hold on to the scarce 2 green flags and ignore the other 22 times they did us wrong intentionally and consistently. And never ends well.'
Actually. Thanks for sharing! ✨