18 Comments
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Itoro Etukudo's avatar

A really good read.

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tobi odeyale's avatar

thank you, Itoro. 🥹

how are you??

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Layo's avatar

This really spoke to me. Thank you for writing 🫶🏽

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tobi odeyale's avatar

you’re welcome, Layo. 🥹

maybe it’s a sign for me to write more.

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Sheena Marie's avatar

Love seeing u shine, Tobi!

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Jamal Robinson's avatar

That's a beautiful reframing of a simple question that should, but doesn't always, carry weight.

At this very moment I'd say I'm a 6.5 but your question helped me realize how much that number shifts during a day.

Welcome back brother!

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tobi odeyale's avatar

“but your question helped me realize how much that number shifts during a day.”

THIS part!!!

it’s why it’s such a privilege if someone gets to really know where your head is in that current moment when they ask. There’s just a sort of bond that happens.

i know i’m late, but for a 6.5 that sounds good. Why a 6.5 though?

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Jamal Robinson's avatar

I appreciate you asking bro. It was just a slow part of the day and I didn’t know what I was going to do next. I believe boredom is necessary but I don’t always enjoy it lol

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MOYOSOREOLUWA PETER-AYEYE's avatar

In the morning I was an eight because I loved how I looked in my outfit. Sometimes during the day I was a 3 because of stuff I had to deal with but now I am a 9 because I heard this long awaited Good news and I am believing God it will be a 10 because of the good news I am expecting tonight thru tomorrow. It's good to have you back Tobiloba. Missed you like crazy. No one to really connect with my quirks and sweet silliness

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tobi odeyale's avatar

Oh wow, I just literally read a comment by Jamal Robinson where he says that the number could dwindle all through the day and your comment is a classic example.

most importantly, congratulations on the great news! I know I’m a bit late, but I really hope everything worked out and that you’re feeling on top of the world. If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d love to hear what the good news is — either here or in the DMs, whatever works for you.

And yeah I’d love to catch up and see what quirks you’ve been up to.💀

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Jamily's avatar

My therapist will always ask me the question a second time because he knows my default answer is fine 😅

Impressive read. Thank you 🙏🏾

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tobi odeyale's avatar

way to go! therapist deserves a raise 😀

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Oluwatobiloba's avatar

On asking questions, I only ask people that when I want to know truly, because I answer truthfully when someone asks me and kinda expect others to do the same.

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Oluwatobiloba's avatar

10 because it’s my birthday todayyyy!

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Matunda Nishobora's avatar

I love this. When I was at uni, I used to ask my roommate, “How are you doing today?” and she would ask back, “What do you mean?” To which I’d respond, “I mean, how are you doing emotionally, psychologically, physically, or mentally, heck, throw in economically too.”

She looked at me all flushed the first time I asked her that, and she said no one had ever asked her so specifically before. I said, “Well… I care how you are. I’m far from home, and you’re my family now.” She cried because she was going through something and didn’t think anyone cared.

It’s important to ask the right questions the right way. “How are you?” is such a common part of daily lingo that people don’t really assume you’re being serious when you ask it. They think you said it out of curiosity or politeness. I learned that day to always specify what I mean.

The downside to that is most conversations then become like a therapy session — which isn’t entirely bad, but can be a bit much. So maybe don’t ask everyone that in a day. Lmao.

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Christie William's avatar

The reflex answer to "How are you?" is "I'm fine, you?", but watch the person pause when you ask, "Are you okay?"

I thought I was doing too much for switching the way I asked the question.

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biglittlemia's avatar

I love this and I think to grow, we have to start with ourselves first. Today I'm a solid 8 and I feel confident in my choice.

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kaylen alexandra's avatar

Love this reframe of how to ask, and for me, I’m about a 7 and looking forward to my morning cup of coffee brewed hot with 3 ice cubes as not to scald my taste buds ✨

How about you?? What’s your number?

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