“but your question helped me realize how much that number shifts during a day.”
THIS part!!!
it’s why it’s such a privilege if someone gets to really know where your head is in that current moment when they ask. There’s just a sort of bond that happens.
i know i’m late, but for a 6.5 that sounds good. Why a 6.5 though?
I appreciate you asking bro. It was just a slow part of the day and I didn’t know what I was going to do next. I believe boredom is necessary but I don’t always enjoy it lol
I love this. When I was at uni, I used to ask my roommate, “How are you doing today?” and she would ask back, “What do you mean?” To which I’d respond, “I mean, how are you doing emotionally, psychologically, physically, or mentally, heck, throw in economically too.”
She looked at me all flushed the first time I asked her that, and she said no one had ever asked her so specifically before. I said, “Well… I care how you are. I’m far from home, and you’re my family now.” She cried because she was going through something and didn’t think anyone cared.
It’s important to ask the right questions the right way. “How are you?” is such a common part of daily lingo that people don’t really assume you’re being serious when you ask it. They think you said it out of curiosity or politeness. I learned that day to always specify what I mean.
The downside to that is most conversations then become like a therapy session — which isn’t entirely bad, but can be a bit much. So maybe don’t ask everyone that in a day. Lmao.
In the morning I was an eight because I loved how I looked in my outfit. Sometimes during the day I was a 3 because of stuff I had to deal with but now I am a 9 because I heard this long awaited Good news and I am believing God it will be a 10 because of the good news I am expecting tonight thru tomorrow. It's good to have you back Tobiloba. Missed you like crazy. No one to really connect with my quirks and sweet silliness
Oh wow, I just literally read a comment by Jamal Robinson where he says that the number could dwindle all through the day and your comment is a classic example.
most importantly, congratulations on the great news! I know I’m a bit late, but I really hope everything worked out and that you’re feeling on top of the world. If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d love to hear what the good news is — either here or in the DMs, whatever works for you.
And yeah I’d love to catch up and see what quirks you’ve been up to.💀
Love this reframe of how to ask, and for me, I’m about a 7 and looking forward to my morning cup of coffee brewed hot with 3 ice cubes as not to scald my taste buds ✨
one because i’m taking everyday knowing i can plan it how i want and a master plan is some where laughing at my plan. I might not like the way the things pan out but they get me to achieve same result.
btw, @kaylen alexandra i noticed you changed the name of your newsletter. Why? 😊
I like that you have a sense of humor around plans! I think many of us could benefit from realizing that we were never really in control of the plan.
& I did! Thnx for noticing! I found that I am evolving, and Dear People Pleasers felt too tight. The Fifth Pillar suits me where I'm at now...taking the four pillars of emotional intelligence and putting them into action! <3
On asking questions, I only ask people that when I want to know truly, because I answer truthfully when someone asks me and kinda expect others to do the same.
That's a beautiful reframing of a simple question that should, but doesn't always, carry weight.
At this very moment I'd say I'm a 6.5 but your question helped me realize how much that number shifts during a day.
Welcome back brother!
“but your question helped me realize how much that number shifts during a day.”
THIS part!!!
it’s why it’s such a privilege if someone gets to really know where your head is in that current moment when they ask. There’s just a sort of bond that happens.
i know i’m late, but for a 6.5 that sounds good. Why a 6.5 though?
I appreciate you asking bro. It was just a slow part of the day and I didn’t know what I was going to do next. I believe boredom is necessary but I don’t always enjoy it lol
10 because it’s my birthday todayyyy!
omg! i missed the namesake’s birthday 🥹
how did it go?
It was great 😊
I love this. When I was at uni, I used to ask my roommate, “How are you doing today?” and she would ask back, “What do you mean?” To which I’d respond, “I mean, how are you doing emotionally, psychologically, physically, or mentally, heck, throw in economically too.”
She looked at me all flushed the first time I asked her that, and she said no one had ever asked her so specifically before. I said, “Well… I care how you are. I’m far from home, and you’re my family now.” She cried because she was going through something and didn’t think anyone cared.
It’s important to ask the right questions the right way. “How are you?” is such a common part of daily lingo that people don’t really assume you’re being serious when you ask it. They think you said it out of curiosity or politeness. I learned that day to always specify what I mean.
The downside to that is most conversations then become like a therapy session — which isn’t entirely bad, but can be a bit much. So maybe don’t ask everyone that in a day. Lmao.
omg!! i love her response “how do you mean?” i should ask that more often.
see how her honest question opened up this conversation.
she clearly was exhausted by the regular question and just needed someone to pull her pain out of her and sit with it with her.
you’re a very good friend, Mattie. Very kind of you. 🤍
The reflex answer to "How are you?" is "I'm fine, you?", but watch the person pause when you ask, "Are you okay?"
I thought I was doing too much for switching the way I asked the question.
damn! “are you okay?” oh mine! that’s so kind of you, Christie.
do you find that you get better responses with this?
I do actually. Especially with people I'm close to.
A really good read.
thank you, Itoro. 🥹
how are you??
I love this and I think to grow, we have to start with ourselves first. Today I'm a solid 8 and I feel confident in my choice.
This really spoke to me. Thank you for writing 🫶🏽
you’re welcome, Layo. 🥹
maybe it’s a sign for me to write more.
Love seeing u shine, Tobi!
In the morning I was an eight because I loved how I looked in my outfit. Sometimes during the day I was a 3 because of stuff I had to deal with but now I am a 9 because I heard this long awaited Good news and I am believing God it will be a 10 because of the good news I am expecting tonight thru tomorrow. It's good to have you back Tobiloba. Missed you like crazy. No one to really connect with my quirks and sweet silliness
Oh wow, I just literally read a comment by Jamal Robinson where he says that the number could dwindle all through the day and your comment is a classic example.
most importantly, congratulations on the great news! I know I’m a bit late, but I really hope everything worked out and that you’re feeling on top of the world. If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d love to hear what the good news is — either here or in the DMs, whatever works for you.
And yeah I’d love to catch up and see what quirks you’ve been up to.💀
My therapist will always ask me the question a second time because he knows my default answer is fine 😅
Impressive read. Thank you 🙏🏾
way to go! therapist deserves a raise 😀
Love this reframe of how to ask, and for me, I’m about a 7 and looking forward to my morning cup of coffee brewed hot with 3 ice cubes as not to scald my taste buds ✨
How about you?? What’s your number?
i’m a bit late but 7.5.
one because i’m taking everyday knowing i can plan it how i want and a master plan is some where laughing at my plan. I might not like the way the things pan out but they get me to achieve same result.
btw, @kaylen alexandra i noticed you changed the name of your newsletter. Why? 😊
I like that you have a sense of humor around plans! I think many of us could benefit from realizing that we were never really in control of the plan.
& I did! Thnx for noticing! I found that I am evolving, and Dear People Pleasers felt too tight. The Fifth Pillar suits me where I'm at now...taking the four pillars of emotional intelligence and putting them into action! <3
oh wow! so the 5th pillar signifies “action” ?
That’s a cool way to put it, yes :)
you’re deep deep! i love your brain, KA!
On asking questions, I only ask people that when I want to know truly, because I answer truthfully when someone asks me and kinda expect others to do the same.