I saw your text but…

I'll respond in 10 business days.

Created by Author using Canva

Sometimes I feel like a jerk for taking too long to respond to a text. 

Anyway, this is a format that you can send to a friend whenever you feel like you’ve left their messages intentionally read (a thousand times but won’t respond).

You’re welcome. 

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Hey, Katie

I owe you a big apology. I’ve been terrible at responding to your message that calling me a jerk would be a compliment. Truth is, I’ve actually read your message multiple times — like, seriously, I’ve gone over it in every possible scenario. 

I’ve read it aloud, read it in the kitchen, read it while cooking, played it through my speaker as I took a shower, asked a friend to read it aloud, had my supervisor dictate it to me, took a screenshot of it and sent it to my friends on Instagram group chat, and on my insta story, I re-posted a tweet about people snubbing my texts: 

Screenshot edited by Author. Tweet by P.Schwarznegger

But here’s the thing: I’m not bad at texting in general. I respond to my tinder date within seconds. It’s just those simple “how are you” messages that throw me off. That one question feels like climbing Mount Everest. I’d rather tackle a complex task at work than figure out how to reply to a simple “how are you.”

I’d rather just chew jeans than respond to that text. So, do me a favour, next time, just call me directly and ask how I’m doing instead of leaving me a how are you that I’ll never respond to. And no, this has nothing to do with my 9-5 job because I literally get paid by the hour to check my phone 5 days a week. Weekends are my unpaid holidays.

So, I’m sorry I didn’t respond! I just don’t think it’s a financially rewarding decision to respond even with a simple “fine”.

Anyway, I hope you get this text! I’m sorry I had to leave this long ass text. The last time I did this was my breakup text to my ex even though you warned me not to. 

And I hope you take less than 10 business days to reply.

Hope this meets you well.

Tobi (slow texter).

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Frequently read together:

I said ‘Come & Join Me’ and She really brought her spoon

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