This is very heartwarming and soothing. When I read the 'Dear Sophia's part, I had goosebumps; even as I type, the hairs on my skin are still standing.
Really, no one knows anything.
To answer a few of your questions, I have spoken Zoom meetings and my mic was muted, and yes, I did repeat myself.
If my future self could send a voice note to me, she will tell me to not give up, she will encourage me to preserve no matter how difficult it may seem, and she will advise me to put in the efforts required so that everything works out very well, because the light at the journey shines brightly and through me other lives will be illuminated.
zoom meetings, it happened to me just yesterday. I didn’t bother cos the session was ending anyways and the professor’s network was trash so he would barely even hear.
i had goosebumps writing it as well. i didn’t want to but my co-worker be doing the most. I’m glad he was a vessel in that moment to help me know, this had to written. It’s the type of advice i’ll want my future self to defo let me know.
Bravo, Tobi. Bravo! This reads like an Elder’s wisdom from the ages. Gentle, wise, and respectful guidance. I’m pondering the deeper meaning and ramifications (to my own ego) of the phrase you gave us “nobody knows anything.” This parallels nicely with something another teacher of mine, Ram Dass, had taught: “Become Nobody.” If that can be the case, that I can become nobody, then I really would “know any thing.” The trick is just that—to become Nobody.
YES! Labels of any kind are always confining—they can never capture the totality and wholeness of the entire person. Becoming Nobody strips all that ego stuff away—allowing us to simply BE. I’m not perfect at it, but it is my practice. I’m not a writer either—I’m just a person who loves language and the creative act of putting words together in fun and interesting ways with no real audience in mind.
i love words so much. They fascinate me. I don’t even know how i got into all of this. Okay maybe i do know.
i used to run a media entertainment brand that made people laugh. That’s where all of it began. But at the time, i still didn’t like “words” or at least know that i liked it. I just liked creating to entertain people. And it worked.
We find ourselves in the hurdle of finding our niche that we eventually outgrow writing without doing it at all. All in the name of being known for a particular thing.
One time, I wrote something and was too scared to post it because "what if people don't like it" and i kept it in my files for weeks until it came up in a conversation and my friend told me that believing that people won't like what I write is being judgemental towards them and that stuck.
These days, I write what I like and I don't judge. Not everyone will like what I write because I am not for everyone but even if nobody does, I won't be one of them, I would be on my side.
Thank you Tobi,
Sophia is blessed to receive these words from you❤️
"that people won't like what I write is being judgemental towards them"
oh wow!! that's a new way to look at things. WOW!
"but even if nobody does, I won't be one of them, I would be on my side." Mehn girl!!! You were made for this! I'm blown away by this insight. Are you real??
Wow. Just wow. If this exchange doesn't personify this wonderful community of Substack, I don't know what does. I'm totally in my feels and inspired to keep writing and stumbling towards cultivating my voice. Bravo.
This was such a beautifully endearing response to her Note.
I went through a period of time early in my writing journey where I felt like I didn't like my "writing voice." It didn't feel authentic to me, and I wanted to change it but didn't know how. I eventually found that voice by pushing past my reservations and fears and just letting my heart spill on the page.
“pushing past my reservations and fears and just letting my heart spill on the page”
this!!! if there ever was a thing as “writing voice” turns out what we fear the most is where it’s at.
because unlike speaking, writing requires us to take off the mask else the writing process seems like walking on a mine field. And that’s stressful af.
This was so kind and heart warming, I’m glad I saw this! Also, my favorite part;
“As for your voice, I don’t think anyone owns a particular voice. It’s like having a playlist on shuffle. Somedays, you might need the energy of an upbeat track; other days, you go for something mellow. It all depends on your mood, right? You get to choose which song, which voice, fits your moment. You’re the artiste; we’re your soundboard.”
2. Yes, I've felt my voice lost or misunderstood. Both. The one time somebody called my blog faith-based and I unconsciously shut down the part of my writing that wanted to talk about the everyday mundane things and my life the way it is. I started telling and telling what to do. I think I'm still in the process of getting out of it. I'd talk about my faith, yes. But I also think that life is very broad and that there are more things than one to talk about. One way I'm doing this is to embody my writing. I'm learning to not just treat it as something I do, but as who I am. I'm taking the “I am writing” phrase unconventionally and telling myself that writing is me and so would have the same elements in it that I have in myself. That make sense?
3. Something vulnerable I've written in my diary that freed me. I wrote about my aloneness and solitude. It's really cute and exhilarating until it's not. I had FINALLY written about it and boy did I cry a river. But in the midst of that, I felt God and I felt Love. I felt peace and joy too. It amazes me up until now how much I needed to release through tears and words. And I wonder what would have happened if I'd numbed and kept the whole thing bottled in.
4. I've not thought too much about what my future self would say to my present self. But she'd probably say: you see, there nothing to be scared of, after all.
5. Heart Realm! I'm keen on what I call heartkeeping, because I believe that the heart really is life source. I don't know when I'd be letting that out. Yet.
CA, you really took the time to pour your heart here in the comment, you’re amazing fr!! gosh!
i see you. And with all that you’ve put here, i feel like you’ve stepped into a different realm of yourself one that you’ll look back and know this moment was where it all began.
Maybe not the most freeing per se. But we'd all need to find the particular form of expression and release that best suits us. But yes, writing is one of the best things that have happened to me.
“I'm learning to not just treat it as something I do, but as who I am.”
you’ve really stumbled on a great revelation here. You should put this on the page and see what else the pen has to tell you. I’ll be very curious where this leads to.
Regarding the questios you asked, OF COURSE I'd repeat myself again. I'd clarify so they can understand better. Simply put, there's no giving up here!
Love the analogy you made about music. On some days, slow songs do the magic and on some, I want to jump, shout, scream. Doesn't mean I prefer one type above the other.
oh how i love to scream in my bathroom when im listening to some music that demands that! This morning, while in the shower i was listening to MI and Waje’s - ONE NAIRA and boyyyy i sang at the top of my lungs! 😂😂
Thank you Tobi for sharing this. It helped me really put some things into perspective. As regards your first and second questions: not on a Zoom meeting but there are moments while I'm recording for my podcast, I forget to hit record and don't realise until I've gone pretty far. I'll have to record and say it all again--well, not all because this usually happens when I'm recording "in-flow" (off my head) and without a script. It's annoying and very upsetting because there's a lot I've said before but you see the show must go on!
And yes, I think everyone has had that moment where they're completely misunderstood. Happens to me all the time because I find it difficult to articulate how i feel when I speak. Writing helps me channel my feelings and process my thoughts better and I'm glad it's something I've found again through substack. However, I still ponder about why I'm able to write all these things so beautifully but find it hard to say what I think or feel in person, when having conversations with people.
"I find it difficult to articulate how i feel when I speak"
"However, I still ponder about why I'm able to write all these things so beautifully but find it hard to say what I think or feel in person, when having conversations with people."
bruhh this is me every day!! I wonder the same. What can we do?
Hi Tobi,
Thank you feels very inadequate, but I have to say it, Thank you!
This means the world to me.
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
May you never lose your essence and your words.
wow! that’s such a strong prayer. I claim that. thank you. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
wow! i’ve never heard it before. Thank you, SA.
This is very heartwarming and soothing. When I read the 'Dear Sophia's part, I had goosebumps; even as I type, the hairs on my skin are still standing.
Really, no one knows anything.
To answer a few of your questions, I have spoken Zoom meetings and my mic was muted, and yes, I did repeat myself.
If my future self could send a voice note to me, she will tell me to not give up, she will encourage me to preserve no matter how difficult it may seem, and she will advise me to put in the efforts required so that everything works out very well, because the light at the journey shines brightly and through me other lives will be illuminated.
“and through me other lives will be illuminated” how dare you leave me on chokehold like this, Seraphina? really, how dare you? 🥹🥹
I just had to, Tobi. 🥹
i needed to read them, for sure. 🫂🫂
zoom meetings, it happened to me just yesterday. I didn’t bother cos the session was ending anyways and the professor’s network was trash so he would barely even hear.
i had goosebumps writing it as well. i didn’t want to but my co-worker be doing the most. I’m glad he was a vessel in that moment to help me know, this had to written. It’s the type of advice i’ll want my future self to defo let me know.
You have said everything! Everything!🌹❤️ And this is so intentional and heart warming!✨
Big ups to you for putting this out here and to Sophia!✨ May you never lose your wonder!
damnnn! “may you never lose your wonder!”
damnnn! i felt that in my lower back.
HN, thanks for being such a blessing today. 🫶🏽
Anytimeeeeeeeeeeee!!!🌹❤️
Bravo, Tobi. Bravo! This reads like an Elder’s wisdom from the ages. Gentle, wise, and respectful guidance. I’m pondering the deeper meaning and ramifications (to my own ego) of the phrase you gave us “nobody knows anything.” This parallels nicely with something another teacher of mine, Ram Dass, had taught: “Become Nobody.” If that can be the case, that I can become nobody, then I really would “know any thing.” The trick is just that—to become Nobody.
becoming nobody is such a beautiful goal. It lets us strip ourselves off of labels and lets us be free.
i’m trying to free myself off of the label called “Writer”. And focus on the verb “Writing”.
because if i place myself in that box for too long then i could miss out on interesting experiences/people/things that can fuel the writing.
i think i recently stumbled on Ram Dass. I think through jay Shetty. Have they both done something together in the past?
YES! Labels of any kind are always confining—they can never capture the totality and wholeness of the entire person. Becoming Nobody strips all that ego stuff away—allowing us to simply BE. I’m not perfect at it, but it is my practice. I’m not a writer either—I’m just a person who loves language and the creative act of putting words together in fun and interesting ways with no real audience in mind.
i love words so much. They fascinate me. I don’t even know how i got into all of this. Okay maybe i do know.
i used to run a media entertainment brand that made people laugh. That’s where all of it began. But at the time, i still didn’t like “words” or at least know that i liked it. I just liked creating to entertain people. And it worked.
“with no real audience in mind” that struck a chord! 😮💨😮💨😮💨
We find ourselves in the hurdle of finding our niche that we eventually outgrow writing without doing it at all. All in the name of being known for a particular thing.
Quite draining...
One time, I wrote something and was too scared to post it because "what if people don't like it" and i kept it in my files for weeks until it came up in a conversation and my friend told me that believing that people won't like what I write is being judgemental towards them and that stuck.
These days, I write what I like and I don't judge. Not everyone will like what I write because I am not for everyone but even if nobody does, I won't be one of them, I would be on my side.
Thank you Tobi,
Sophia is blessed to receive these words from you❤️
"that people won't like what I write is being judgemental towards them"
oh wow!! that's a new way to look at things. WOW!
"but even if nobody does, I won't be one of them, I would be on my side." Mehn girl!!! You were made for this! I'm blown away by this insight. Are you real??
Thank you for your kind words ❤️
I'm glad this resonated with you
And to answer you, i am mostly real, 80% me,20% someone i am trying to figure out😅
someone i’m trying to figure out is a very beautiful thing to say. Never lose that part of you.
Wow. Just wow. If this exchange doesn't personify this wonderful community of Substack, I don't know what does. I'm totally in my feels and inspired to keep writing and stumbling towards cultivating my voice. Bravo.
wow! thank you, Rev. thanks for seeing me. Thanks for seeing us.
the word community jump at me and i was like “Rev, gets it”
this is community work and im always proud to show up for my people in my own little way.
And thank you so much for sharing this, Tobi. Your words reached my heart. ✨🤍
CA, they reached mine too. I thought it was silly when i first started writing it but as i wrote it, i could see why i did.
it’s a guide for us to come back home to ourselves. 🫂🫂🫂
This was such a beautifully endearing response to her Note.
I went through a period of time early in my writing journey where I felt like I didn't like my "writing voice." It didn't feel authentic to me, and I wanted to change it but didn't know how. I eventually found that voice by pushing past my reservations and fears and just letting my heart spill on the page.
Ash!!!! your comments always mean a ton to me.
“pushing past my reservations and fears and just letting my heart spill on the page”
this!!! if there ever was a thing as “writing voice” turns out what we fear the most is where it’s at.
because unlike speaking, writing requires us to take off the mask else the writing process seems like walking on a mine field. And that’s stressful af.
This was so kind and heart warming, I’m glad I saw this! Also, my favorite part;
“As for your voice, I don’t think anyone owns a particular voice. It’s like having a playlist on shuffle. Somedays, you might need the energy of an upbeat track; other days, you go for something mellow. It all depends on your mood, right? You get to choose which song, which voice, fits your moment. You’re the artiste; we’re your soundboard.”
thanks for reading brother. That part was for me as much as it was supposed to be for her.
the part that hit me hardest was the “you’re the artiste, we’re your sound board”
this piece was one of those that i wrote without being in a state of consciousness. It felt like it was being channeled from somewhere.
This is touching, Tobi- sending such affirmations to Sophie, I love it. I also love the playlist analogy, it makes sense.
My future self would tell me, nobody knows shit too! Do you.
"nobody knows shit too! Do you."
love the way that comes off.
Thanks for reading, TA.
1. No, I haven't exactly used Zoom before.
2. Yes, I've felt my voice lost or misunderstood. Both. The one time somebody called my blog faith-based and I unconsciously shut down the part of my writing that wanted to talk about the everyday mundane things and my life the way it is. I started telling and telling what to do. I think I'm still in the process of getting out of it. I'd talk about my faith, yes. But I also think that life is very broad and that there are more things than one to talk about. One way I'm doing this is to embody my writing. I'm learning to not just treat it as something I do, but as who I am. I'm taking the “I am writing” phrase unconventionally and telling myself that writing is me and so would have the same elements in it that I have in myself. That make sense?
3. Something vulnerable I've written in my diary that freed me. I wrote about my aloneness and solitude. It's really cute and exhilarating until it's not. I had FINALLY written about it and boy did I cry a river. But in the midst of that, I felt God and I felt Love. I felt peace and joy too. It amazes me up until now how much I needed to release through tears and words. And I wonder what would have happened if I'd numbed and kept the whole thing bottled in.
4. I've not thought too much about what my future self would say to my present self. But she'd probably say: you see, there nothing to be scared of, after all.
5. Heart Realm! I'm keen on what I call heartkeeping, because I believe that the heart really is life source. I don't know when I'd be letting that out. Yet.
6. Nah. No “forgot to unmute” moment.
✨🤍
CA, you really took the time to pour your heart here in the comment, you’re amazing fr!! gosh!
i see you. And with all that you’ve put here, i feel like you’ve stepped into a different realm of yourself one that you’ll look back and know this moment was where it all began.
we underrate how much writing and crying can help save us on therapy.
i’m glad you found your way to not bottle it up. We’re lucky we have this art of writing. I’d argue is the most freeing form of art.
Maybe not the most freeing per se. But we'd all need to find the particular form of expression and release that best suits us. But yes, writing is one of the best things that have happened to me.
CA, you're on point here: "we'd all need to find the particular form of expression and release that best suits us"
Love your gentle push back.
for the voice part, this captured my attention:
“I'm learning to not just treat it as something I do, but as who I am.”
you’ve really stumbled on a great revelation here. You should put this on the page and see what else the pen has to tell you. I’ll be very curious where this leads to.
oh wow! that zoom part, you sound like an alien. I’m impressed. If you’ve never used zoom, then what video conferencing platform have you use?
ps; it’s okay if you haven’t used any, this kid is just curious .
Regarding the questios you asked, OF COURSE I'd repeat myself again. I'd clarify so they can understand better. Simply put, there's no giving up here!
Love the analogy you made about music. On some days, slow songs do the magic and on some, I want to jump, shout, scream. Doesn't mean I prefer one type above the other.
Thank you for sharing this!
oh how i love to scream in my bathroom when im listening to some music that demands that! This morning, while in the shower i was listening to MI and Waje’s - ONE NAIRA and boyyyy i sang at the top of my lungs! 😂😂
"You let yourself be so seen that your LIGHT stopped us in our tracks to pay attention."
This line, damnnnnnnnn!
Permission to requote and maybe borrow the line?
I'd give credit, I promise.
GO for it, honey.
Thank you Tobi for sharing this. It helped me really put some things into perspective. As regards your first and second questions: not on a Zoom meeting but there are moments while I'm recording for my podcast, I forget to hit record and don't realise until I've gone pretty far. I'll have to record and say it all again--well, not all because this usually happens when I'm recording "in-flow" (off my head) and without a script. It's annoying and very upsetting because there's a lot I've said before but you see the show must go on!
And yes, I think everyone has had that moment where they're completely misunderstood. Happens to me all the time because I find it difficult to articulate how i feel when I speak. Writing helps me channel my feelings and process my thoughts better and I'm glad it's something I've found again through substack. However, I still ponder about why I'm able to write all these things so beautifully but find it hard to say what I think or feel in person, when having conversations with people.
"I find it difficult to articulate how i feel when I speak"
"However, I still ponder about why I'm able to write all these things so beautifully but find it hard to say what I think or feel in person, when having conversations with people."
bruhh this is me every day!! I wonder the same. What can we do?
"but there are moments while I'm recording for my podcast, I forget to hit record and don't realise until I've gone pretty far."
oh wow!! that part had me weak!! that must be so freaking annoying! But kudos to you for still recording all over again.
Omggggg, this was so good!
i bet one of your super powers is beginning again.
like starting to take those long walks you used to do.
as for the zoom, since you love to talk, have you joined the locked in sessions that happen on fridays/mondays?