Last year, the whole family were discussing and my dad said " There was no school for parenting. You were experiments. We knew the basics- don't steal, don't tell lies. But each of you was different. I didn't know how to raise each of you". - My paraphrase
I grew up having mix matched relationship with him but that moment shifted my view of him.
They are just really interns.
One question I've asked him recently is How're you? He says fine and sometimes more.
This reminds me of my last week trip, where away from my siblings made me think about them more - in a good way. Sometimes, distance works to bring people together.
Hey Tobi, this resonates with me. Ever since I moved to another city, I've learned to appreciate and love my family more. I guess distance does not only bring separation/divide but closure, warmth and reasons to cherish our loved ones more.
I had to spend some years away from my parents and then come back to take care of them, both with health issues, and i can say you're absolutely right.
Yes I can, I can heavily relate to the laughter from afar and prayers. It was blissful to remember that there are also imperfect humans too who also sin. It then became easier to give them grace
For your parents, because they really are doing the best they know.
"part of Adulting is realizing our parents were interns learning on the job”. This quote sums it up nicely.
And for you, because you chose to show them grace and kindness. You are adulting well Tobi!
But above all, I'm now more committed to being the progressive parent, as once described it. 😁
Reading this, I'm thinking of my 15 year old son (almost 15), and his sister.
I'm telling myself, the goal is to find out, how not to be a mother they have to leave, to find peace. Or to feel loved. How to make our home, a place they would have to leave rather than a place they want to leave. That's the goal.
I love this. I’ve left Côte D’Ivoire to study in France some years ago and my relationship with my mother has never been as peaceful compared to when I am around back at home. Now I am back, living with her and there’s less tension because I guess we grew a bit, but still, our relationship because instantly better I soon as I fly in another city.
Last year, the whole family were discussing and my dad said " There was no school for parenting. You were experiments. We knew the basics- don't steal, don't tell lies. But each of you was different. I didn't know how to raise each of you". - My paraphrase
I grew up having mix matched relationship with him but that moment shifted my view of him.
They are just really interns.
One question I've asked him recently is How're you? He says fine and sometimes more.
Thank you Tobi for the reminder
they really are interns. I hated them for a while but the moment that phrase hit me, i started to cut them some grace.
This reminds me of my last week trip, where away from my siblings made me think about them more - in a good way. Sometimes, distance works to bring people together.
it works like magic for real.
Yes indeed ✨
Hey Tobi, this resonates with me. Ever since I moved to another city, I've learned to appreciate and love my family more. I guess distance does not only bring separation/divide but closure, warmth and reasons to cherish our loved ones more.
it really does bring closure for real for real. And it brings lots of respect too.
Distance, desire and love ❤️
JR, you were on to something there but that Love came in between it.
Distance, Desire, Devotion (DDD) 😅😅
👏🏽
I had to spend some years away from my parents and then come back to take care of them, both with health issues, and i can say you're absolutely right.
This so sweet, do not make me emotional this early morning Tobi. I really love this🫶🏽
thanks A.I. Can you relate to bits of it?
Yes I can, I can heavily relate to the laughter from afar and prayers. It was blissful to remember that there are also imperfect humans too who also sin. It then became easier to give them grace
that grace part 🥹🥹
This really go me emotional for many reasons.
For your parents, because they really are doing the best they know.
"part of Adulting is realizing our parents were interns learning on the job”. This quote sums it up nicely.
And for you, because you chose to show them grace and kindness. You are adulting well Tobi!
But above all, I'm now more committed to being the progressive parent, as once described it. 😁
Reading this, I'm thinking of my 15 year old son (almost 15), and his sister.
I'm telling myself, the goal is to find out, how not to be a mother they have to leave, to find peace. Or to feel loved. How to make our home, a place they would have to leave rather than a place they want to leave. That's the goal.
I love this. I’ve left Côte D’Ivoire to study in France some years ago and my relationship with my mother has never been as peaceful compared to when I am around back at home. Now I am back, living with her and there’s less tension because I guess we grew a bit, but still, our relationship because instantly better I soon as I fly in another city.
Thank you for this reminder to show our parents more grace and kindness, as they were and still are "interns learning on the job".
That’s almost always the best way to love family tbh- from afar.