there's a new virus in town
this one is guaranteed to make us miss corona virus
look at us, 3 years ago we were all cuddled up in bed thinking about only how not to contact Corona.
i couldn’t even sneeze in public. I had to hide and sneeze or sneeze internally. Oh yes, that’s a thing. You shut your mouth and nose and sneeze. At first, it’ll feel like a bomb just went off inside you but after a while, it’ll be as easy as brushing your teeth.
even in your family house, you had to all wear masks, keep a distance like you had mouth odor, and act like strangers. Tough!
married/relationship people had it worse. Imagine not being able to kiss because of a terrorist called COVID. Imagine Facetiming your spouse just to kiss them through a screen?
shit get’s tougher when your screen cracks while kissing and you start picking broken glass stuck in your gum. How do you explain to the engineer at computer village that your screen cracked due to kissing?
the funniest part of COVID was people became unrecognizable with masks on.
your wife could wake up beside you in the morning with her mask on and you’ll think you committed adultery overnight until it hit you—it’s your wife’s new face and you have to get used to your newly covid-wedded wife.
fact is COVID altered people’s daily 2k—which birth another daily 2k called BETTING.
there was a time when betting was a taboo just like sneezing. But when you’ve been unemployed for a while, the taboo becomes the new normal. These days, if you can’t pay in cash—you can pay in bet.
the average Nigerian youth is either a gambler or has a friend who’s one and loud about it online or offline:
ps: In case you were wondering what’s the white image on the right? that’s the webpage of one of Nigeria’s top betting sites.
the tweet above is a typical response at a job-networking event to the question “what’s your name and what do you do for a living?”
thankfully you have your business card on you:
then you squeeze it into their hand like you’re passing expo in an exam hall.
unlike Covid, betting doesn’t need contact to spread. It already advertises itself by promising you the Nigerian dream of using 2k that you don’t have to win 1 million. But very quickly, that dream becomes a nightmare. After collecting your salary, 1 week into the month, you’re already on insufficient funds.
just like COVID, betting has the ability to make you look physically unrecognizable—because hunger will dig a borehole in your tummy—but it can also render your bank account unrecognizable. Highly recommend—if you’re trying to go broke!