job forms annoy me

it took me longer than it took the Nigerian government to ban twitter — to ship today’s diary.

It’s a miracle you’re reading this right now. There was an accident. But a very mild one.

It’s not too serious, at least not to you.

But to me, I’m brain-hurt.

It took me longer than it took the Nigerian government to ban twitter — to ship today’s diary.

Why?

Because of this fear I wrote about. It’s becoming more serious than I originally thought. I promise you it has nothing to do with you and others eating this FREE Jollof-Write every week.

I’m scared of the blinking cursor because once I start writing (like I’m doing now) the things that flow out have me like: “Tobi, where did that come from?”.

More recently, I filled an online job form, and like almost every form there’s name, sex, etc.

The field where I was asked to write why I love writing. The things that came out of me made me shiver like someone just did an Ice Bucket Challenge on me.

I didn’t write why I loved writing. Instead, I wrote why I hate it & why I’m scared of it.

I didn’t write it because I wanted the job (thankfully I have one that pays the internet I use to write this diary) — I wrote it because I wanted to explore more of why I was scared of writing.

I knew I lost the job (Good luck to the HR who read it) but I learned more about myself in that moment.

I’ll write it to you soon. Remind me?

Speaking of forms. If I was honest with job forms;

Name: Tobi (obviously)

address: what if I’m writing this from under the bridge?

phone number: we both know you won’t call but here you go; 080xyz….

Occupation: thanks for reminding me I’m jobless.

The worst part of Job hunting is “send your cv to doctorazolibe@brokeboyrichdreams.com” — I don’t bother dumping mine in someone’s email of CVs-grave-yard.

Unlike most people who include the famous “I can work under pressure” that makes them feel more qualified than the other “I-can-work-under-pressure” applicants.

Thanks to a VPN-using-Laolu, I’ve updated my CV to look something like this:

Is Laolu taking a dig at the 9-5 life and advocating for the be-your-own-boss or work-from-home Culture?

Either way, I’m with him on this. Imagine I could type this from home and get paid by you for doing so?

The pressure to work would be always cooking up this Jollof-Write weekly for you. That’s my best type of pressure. TBH!

Plus I wouldn’t spend my time looking for the next job forms to fill that never care about my money-mental-health.

How many job forms have you filled this year?

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